How Do You Defend Yourself Without Being Defensive?

What does non Defensive mean?

We are using non-defensive communication when we ask questions, make statements and predict consequences in an open, sincere way without trying to control how other people respond.

We can gather accurate information, speak with clarity, protect ourselves, and hold others more accountable..

How do you talk to someone who is always defensive?

Avoid using “blame” language. Don’t start a sentence with “you,” as in “You didn’t hear me, again!” … Start with some vulnerability and responsibility. Be vulnerable with the person, and take some responsibility for the situation. … Focus on your feelings. … Ask meaningful questions. … Don’t lose your temper.

Why do I always feel like I have to defend myself?

The feeling that one needs to defend themselves in everything they say or do is probably rooted in a past traumatic experience that has left and indelible emotional impression. … Believing that other people or circumstances are the cause of our emotional upheaval empowers them to control us emotionally until they change.

How can I defend myself without being defensive?

Can You Defend Yourself Without Being Defensive?Be Secure In Who You Are. You’re less likely to get defensive or hurt over something when you know for sure that it’s not true. … Stop Retaliating & Genuinely Listen. … Use “I” Statements. … Think Long-Term Instead Of Short-Term. … Learn How To Receive Criticism. … It’s OK To Be Wrong.

What is the opposite of being defensive?

defensive, defensive attitude(adj) an attitude of defensiveness (especially in the phrase `on the defensive’) Antonyms: tip-and-run, unapologetic, predatory, antipersonnel, on the offensive(p), invading, attacking(a), marauding, incursive, hit-and-run, assaultive, offensive, invasive, raiding.

How can you tell if someone is defensive?

6 Signs That Defensiveness Is Getting the Better of You. … You’re always on the lookout for signs of exclusion. … Your first instinct is to distrust someone’s motivations. … You read ambiguity into situations and then obsess about them. … You don’t entirely trust your own feelings and thoughts, but you act on them anyway.More items…•

What is defensiveness a sign of?

A good sign of someone feeling defensive is if there is some form of passing blame and/or taking a victim role. Common defensive mechanisms are denial, avoidance, acting out, compartmentalization and even regression, especially amongst children.

What makes a person so defensive?

To be defensive is to react with an overprotective mentality so a situation that perhaps doesn’t warrant it. Defensiveness is an impulsive and reactive mode of responding to a situation or conversation. Rather than listening with an open heart, we respond with our metaphorical shields up and weapons drawn.

Does defensiveness mean guilt?

Some people get defensive or even offensive out of guilt. Feeling guilty for doing something like stealing, is normal. … People who blame out of an inflated sense of guilt or judgment often come back to their senses after the fight is over. Many normal people are defensive when blamed, even if they are in the wrong.

What’s another word for defensive?

In this page you can discover 53 synonyms, antonyms, idiomatic expressions, and related words for defensive, like: guarding, combative, touchy, prickly, armed, irritable, unfriendly, the defensive, attacking, defensively and tactical.

Why is my partner so defensive?

Defenses naturally go up in reaction to criticism. So, if it looks like your partner is defensive, it may be that he or she is feeling attacked. Dealing with defensiveness means both partners look at their role in the conflict.

How do you respond to someone without being defensive?

Be Secure In Who You Are. You’re less likely to get defensive or hurt over something when you know for sure that it’s not true. … Stop Retaliating & Genuinely Listen. … Use “I” Statements. … Think Long-Term Instead Of Short-Term. … Learn How To Receive Criticism. … It’s OK To Be Wrong.

Do liars get defensive?

They tend to point a lot. “When a liar becomes hostile or defensive, he is attempting to turn the tables on you,” says Glass. The liar will get hostile because he is angry that you’ve discovered his lies, which may result in a lot of pointing.

Why being defensive is bad?

If you often react to others in a defensive way, you might end up in a relationship that becomes unhealthier day by day. If you’re defensive with your loved ones, you may create a very hostile, tense environment in your home. Defensiveness at work can make it harder to get along with coworkers and supervisors.

What is the difference between defending yourself and being defensive?

Being defensive is about keeping people out (and guarding yourself about the information they are giving you), while setting boundaries is about taking the information in and protecting yourself—and potentially protecting the relationship from further harm. Want your passion for wellness to change the world?